A Visitor...

I arrive back at the house to find we have a visitor. He's taken up residence in my bathroom. His name is Berty and he's already got a significant Facebook presence. My lovely son checks that I have closed the door at night to keep him safe. That's my son - not Berty! Because Berty is a spider. Of tarantula-like proportions. He's had his photograph taken next to a pen to demonstrate the incredible length of his legs (thank goodness the bath is clean!). He elicits screams from the girls on Facebook that you can probably hear from where you are. I lost him for a while yesterday. On closer inspection, he was resting inside the plughole with just his legs poking out.

I chuckle because I don't have the heart to turf him out (yet). He continues to construct fluffy balls of web and wander up and down the plughole at will. As long as he's happy and stays where I can see him, then we stay fascinated by this arachnid wonder of nature. I do have one burning question though, what happens when I want a bath??

Holiday Averages...

Books read - 1
Stories written - 1
Beach visits - 3 a day
Blog posts - 4 (I think!)
Friendships made and cemented - 3
Insects rescued - 3
Sunshine hours - plenty
Games of Rummikub won - 6
Swims in sea - 1 (plus paddle!)
Laughter shared - tons!
Housework performed - minimal
Overnight storms - 1
Prince William sightings - 1 (possible...)

Who says caravanning is boring??!

Beach Blessings

This morning's beach walk revealed more riches in the best sense of the word. I met old friends as I wandered down the road, encountering a man who wanted to bottle my smile and a fellow-caravanner with her little dog who shared a lot of local information. That's the beauty of a small place. We all become quickly connected and useful to each other. Even when you have a holiday home, you become a part of the community. Taking part in local events has always been important to me and when you dig a little deeper there's always something exciting going on, whether it's the history society talk or a walk along the new bypass before the traffic is allowed to rush along it!

At the end of the beach is a long sea defence wall. Sitting on there with my feet dangling high above the high tide felt like sitting at the end of the earth. There were ringed plovers and oystercatchers for company. Swirling in flight and darting in amongst the rocks for food. The sunshine disappeared as cloud swept in. The sea changed from choppy blue to steely grey and the wind scooted across the full lagoon. I felt moved to tears by the majesty of it all.

On the way back I sat down for a chat with a man and his dog, who share my very same love of this special place. He said the landscape is like a magnet for him. As it is for me. A very powerful magnet that pulls me back time after time to explore the treasure and challenges it brings. I walked back up the hill refreshed in every way, to my Mum with rollers in her hair (very elegantly covered in a scarf!) and lots of stories to share. Is there a special place that keeps pulling you back to it??
Ellie x

Treasure old and new

A walk on the beach this mellow September Sunday morning has led me on a treasure quest. Searching for materials to create a sculpture at the front of the caravan, reveals several sections of orange netting washed up on the vigorous tide and a large brick-coloured stone to anchor it with. A small piece of driftwood adds to the collection, though I wish I was able to carry the much larger pieces that have been stranded following the tail end of Hurricane Katrina.

These tree trunks and logs have been utilised as seats, camp fire surrounds and one has been turned into a totem pole. Another wonderful find is a sand spiral, made amongst the rougher sand at the far end of the beach and the spiral is in a finer, lighter coloured sand. This leads me to believe that we still revere our wonderful planet when we can. Coming to the beach and letting go of the fast pace of modern life, gives us the opportunity to celebrate the natural elements we find at our feet. We sculpt the sand into castles, moats and spirals. We build hearts out of stones and turn wood into totem poles. There is an innate need to create, blend and be at one with the natural environment.

I love coming across these beautiful momentoes of someone's time spent on the beach. I photograph them, share them with friends and tuck away the memories for life's stormier days.
Enjoy treasure today wherever you find it,
Ellie xx

Coffee, castles and coastline...

Soft, salty rain lashes slate roofs. As most of the country basks in sunshine, the Welsh coast is a little damp. I care not one jot. Sitting in a cafe with a frothy coffee, overlooking the castle with a backdrop of pounding surf and cloud-shrouded mountains, is the best place to be. We've just explored the charity shop and found bright material for quilting and a fuschia pink jacket to light up Mum's face. Then she sits in the car as I run up and down the beach, chased by the waves and watching a heron fish in unique pool-to-pool style. Upturned jellyfish are everywhere, some with turquoise coloured innards. Turn up your collars and join me on the sand, arms outstretched like an eager seagull and laughing with the wind through bedraggled hair. There is so much natural happiness there. It's tempting to stay all day, but the beer festival beckons. I've already told Mum she's driving home, even though she's never turned the wheel in her life. Ah, shandy it is then.
Enjoy your weekend wanderings,
Ellie x

Getting it all into perspective...

It's been a funny old day. The first serious rain in a long time is still falling with gentle and very welcome splashes onto the conservatory roof, though the colour of the sky may lead to an autumn patch of gloom and the possibility of too much television!

The three b's strike today. Burns, boredom and bigness. If there is such a word- then I apply it to the newly extended popular supermarket in our town. It's way TOO BIG. At least it is for my little legs and a lot of other people's I would suspect. It's not set up for an easy or convenient dash round anymore. We are talking hyper-market (remember those??) scale assault where you need a route map, a flask of something hot and some Kendal mintcake to survive the expedition. I made a comment on Facebook which has certainly struck a chord locally. So are we going to start shopping differently? The wheel coming full circle to the enjoyable and specialised shopping of my childhood? The big question here is , do any of us have the time for more individual food shopping or is it a question of organisation?

Back to the other two b's. I'll tackle the burns. Fingers are in recovery after an attack by boiling bean water on unprotected skin. Lesson learned. Use the oven gloves. And finally it is boredom - (I know, I don't have any excuses for this one with so many exciting projects on the go) but sometimes I am over-familiar with this b word and hence a late evening blog to rescue the brain cells from getting up to any more mischief!

Calm down. The soothing rain still falls. I'm reading The Shack by WM Paul Young and that brings it's own questions and challenges. I realise the day is never wasted even if it doesn't quite turn out the way you want it to. Goodnight from a lucky one - tucked up warm in that other lovely b-word where the company of books and blankets soothes all bad feelings away.
Night night from Ellie x

Treasured Memories

I have just completed my first commission to write a poem for a funeral. It was a privilege to be asked and I was conscious of finding the right tone for the occasion that conveys a personal touch with humour and affection.

I asked lots of questions before writing a word and the memories shared helped me form a connection with the family member - a sort of tapestry appeared in my mind so that I could follow the colours and threads of a precious life.

The first draft was long and too wordy, the second came closer and by the third was flowing easily and required just a rearrangement of the verses. Reading it over the phone was like a meditation for both of us, where we were transported for a few moments into a peaceful space.
I'm grateful for the beauty of the experience.

From a caravan on the coast

Setting up a caravan with Mum and a loopy Labrador has been great fun. We've forgotten lots of things, especially the warm layers of clothing required for chilly mornings! My excuse is lack of space in the car and over-stretched brain cells. We are lucky to have central heating and we soon get warm. Has no-one invented a solar panel for caravans yet??

We lost the chocolate dog for a while yesterday morning. Picture me running around the grass in pyjamas looking for the missing hound. She was found a few rows back, looking bewildered by the sameness of all the green holiday homes. Relief all round.

The people are so lovely here. A friend popped in with a caravan-warming present (a freshly painted watercolour) and as Mum and I sat outside in the sun sharing one chair between two, the site manager drove up in a truck and unloaded a beautiful padded sun lounger for our use until we get some of our own!

We are making the most of our last day. My early morning walk on the beach was filled with ringed plovers scuttling in the edge of the high tide, a chatty young fisherman casting for sea bass and the knowledge I can visit anytime I want to enjoy this magical place.
Wishing you sunshine and sea breezes,
Ellie x

Garden of my mind

The garden of my mind is a rich, fertile place, reaching out far beyond me and touching places I can only begin to imagine. Right now it requires sustenance, food of a physical and not just a creative kind. I find myself woken up at 6am by the characters in my new story shouting for attention. Like the persistant ringing of an alarm bell, they wish to speak. Their words and wishes take precedence and scenes form and fade, tumbling one over the other.

Eventually they calm down and let me have a cup of tea. I wander in the garden, cool and cloudy now, admiring the pots and trembling violas. I notice a snail has already nibbled the brand new alstromeria, leaving a silvery trail on the leaves - make a mental note to put gravel on top of the compost (I knew I ought to do it yesterday and was distracted!).

Last night's barbecue lies cold and blackened. Memories of the Easter Egg hunt my lovely son organised. We were frantic, racing across the gravel in search of sweet chocolate surprises. He's carrying on a tradition lasting years. I always organised an egg hunt for family and friends. Now he's taken on the mantle and I'm moved by the fun and dedication he shows. Photographs are posted on Facebook. We are tagged and people smile at our antics.

It's good for the garden to be a happy place. I take so much pleasure in it, becoming an accidental gravel gardener - such a surprising medium for plants to seed themselves down in. The tomatoes are sprouting at last and my addiction for filling every pot in sight with flowers or food is fully indulged.

Getting back to watering the words of a new story and watching it grow now. Even the weeds are allowed to seed themselves in case they reveal a new nugget or direction. All creative worms are welcome here.

Gardening by the light of the moon...

I find myself gardening enthusiastically hoeing, mulching sewing seeds. The weather is perfect for this activity, although the ground is very dry and I find myself wishing for rain overnight to save me (and the water meter) having to do it and for the farmers who must be complaining by now. Rain tonight would mean obscuring the moon, which is full at 03.44 on Monday morning. I'm not very good at planting seeds by the moon cycle, they're probably a bit late going in and will need all the magic of those silver rays to get them started (plus the aforementioned water!). Gardening is more by luck than good judgement in these parts with seedlings and plants often left to fend for themselves for long, dry periods before I make a mad dash out there to save a wilting specimen. I'm in training to walk around the garden at least twice a day, noticing the plight of any brown and curling leaves in needs of attention, plus showing kindness to sundry wildlife that chooses to fly into the conservatory and become trapped behind the double glazing. A well-used bug jar and a postcard of Barmouth comes in very handy at these times. I never thought I had so much to say about gardening! It's blissful to look out over the cherry blossom and early clematis and think that no matter how neglectful I appear to be, it all keeps coming back for more. The scent of laurel flowers - so potent this year - is overpowering and an orange-tip butterfly dances over the border in need of a coat of mulch and water. I return to the seeds of new life, in the hope of eating freshly picked salad leaves very soon and sharing the fat worm I found at the bottom of a pot with the very friendly robin. Happy Full Moon Gardening!

A Large Field to Wander In

I have borrowed the title of one of Natalie Goldberg's chapters from her book Writing Down the Bones, on this windy Friday morning in February. She encapsulates the need to go to the edge, from a writer's point of view, to have the courage to open ourselves up to writing with passion, depth, in our bravest voice.

I realise, as I have lived on this planet for fifty years, that this is where I find myself on many levels. Not wanting the safe, comfortable, tidy route I did my best to follow for so many years. There was always a part of me ready to break out, to explode across the page of life with noise, colour and exuberance! For the rest of my days, I want to not only smell the roses, but to lie down with them, touch them, taste them and know their inner workings.

I choose not the path of most comfort (though there are days when I crave it and hide wrapped up in the duvet) but of adventure, challenging myself to grow and go deeper through relationships and experiences.

I could take the view that the second chapter is about to begin, the one where most people contemplate a comfortable retirement and an easier way of life. There's nothing wrong with wishing for that. My wishes for the next fifty years reach out like a baby's arms, with a mixture of curiosity, zest and fearlessness, in some kind of upside-down reality kind of path, presenting itself to me through everyday experiences and extraordinary ones that come begging, every now and then, to be followed and allowed space and time for exploration, plus the courage to express all that I discover.

It is with a brave heart I accept and invite increasing amounts of joy, love and connection in and the real hope these transfer to my writing and working life. Watch out for Ellie as she spreads her wings wider!
Wishing you an adventurous Friday,
with love, Ellie xx

It's all about vibration...

Wouldn't it be good to know what we're attracting into our lives before it actually arrives? The gift of recognising what we're asking for can be both a blessing and a bit of a burden sometimes. I'm sitting here snuggled up in bed, wondering if a chill or the beginning of flu has taken hold (totally my own fault for not dressing properly when out and about yesterday) and also feeling the weight of worry about something that is definitely not mine. Is that a woman thing to do? Trying to take on the problems of family members/friends/the economy/the world without need or invitation to do so?

My wish now is always to maintain the happiness, health and sanity of my particular bit of life, on the basis that it's more helpful to be spreading out the normal vivacity and joy I feel than to try and tackle anything not created by or benefiting from my sticking my oar in where it's not wanted. It's hard to explain and may sound like I'm absolving myself from any responsbility for the inner workings of this great world of ours. That's not true. My beliefs have changed so much. I used to think that all the larger organisations were responsible for the general health and happiness of us all (the government, schools, councils etc.) but through the last few years have come to believe that personal responsibility is the real point of power, both for ourselves and the wider world. It's a subject I could probably talk about all day, debate with you long and hard and you'd probably disagree with lots I had to say. (Now scoop out that negative thought Ellie, and flick it right away!)

The truth is I take full responsibility for what I'm thinking, feeling and doing about it. This way I get to offer my best, both in the world of my home and relationships and to the joining in of the greater good. As the ripples of loving and positive beliefs spread outwards, they then attract more of the same and the creative forces join together in a dance of progress leading to more connections between us and wonderful events happening. A simple cup of coffee with a friend can lead to ideas and help flowing, as was demonstrated to me so clearly in a cafe in Worcester yesterday.

The clues are all there for us, spread out like a carpet of leaves, each offering a deepening of experience and the resulting satisfaction when we're brave enough to find out what's waiting beneath each one. So go on, take courage today, turn over one of those leaves, see what you find and attract a new, exciting thread into your life, let it hum with anticipation, expectancy, willingness and follow the warm feeling of the journey it takes you on.

From the quiet of a warm room looking out into the crispness of Friday morning,
Love Ellie xx

A Life of Love....

I love to write in silver and add a touch of glitter to give life a sparkle when at all possible. I like to do this in every setting, whever I find myself, it's good to exude the aura of sparkliness. This always brings love into the mix. Watch the beginning of the film Love Actually, and you will hear the words love is everywhere. In my observation this is so true and the more we focus upon it, the more love comes into our lives. It's a magnet of the most wonderful force, turning the apparently mundane into a series of special moments as we notice the nuances of love.

It may take a little practise. The obvious loving acts are easier to spot. What of the more subtle moments? The simple touch of a hand on a back that may go unnoticed, but says 'I support you'. The twinkle in an eye that says 'you look good today'. The quiet acceptance of a mood that won't quite go away, a cup of tea appearing without asking and the gentle bending of a tree to say we are connected.

As I step outside my door today, with a list of life's more practical necessities to achieve, I look, I touch, taste and hear all the love filling every second of the day. Because everything created and being brought into the range of our attention, had a caring thought behind it, an idea to make our lives easier or more fulfilled.

Embrace everyone and everything you come across today and I will open my heart more into the possibility of knowing more and living more from love.

With loving waves coming your way today,
Ellie xx

The ups and downs of Monday morning...

I really wasn't sure what was going on this morning, there had been the scent of disappointment in the air last night, when a friend who promised to call, somehow couldn't do it, though I do understand, I've been in that space myself. The ups and downs of a dating life, a creative life and all the other threads I do my best to balance and lovingly stay aware of every day.

Sometimes I get it right and sometimes spectacularly wrong. It is easier to get things wrong these days, the beating up doesn't last for very long and I find myself acknowledging the lesson and laughing about the event rather than crying or hiding! Being ourselves is vital and it appears to be part of a woman's role to keep a weather eye out all around her for the needs and nuances of others as we juggle all that is asked of us every day.

The housework becomes a metaphor for the larger expectations of family life, yes, everyone else is all right as long as you are doing what is expected, the washing,the ironing, the cooking, the dusting, but they find it challenging when you step outside this role and explore a part of you that has been waiting for a long time to be expressed.

I juggle with this every day, as do millions of wonderful women (keeping this country and their menfolk going!) and confess to giving in to the creative, growing opportunities that wait outside the door or in a different place inside, crying out for attention. Step forward the poet, the song writer, the business woman, the philosopher and all the hidden threads of me longing for expression from behind the ironing board and duster.

Don't give up, today could be the day when we shine a wonderful beam of light into the deepest recesses of our creative souls.
May everything you do today go one step further than you thought possible,
With love,
Ellie xx

Time to get moving.....I think

I'm not moving a muscle until there are some words covering this pretty white page. It's time to move the fingers (very nicely painted ones, leftover from New Year's Eve) and let rip. There's so much inside to talk about, a vast world of unplumbed depths longing to rise up through the bubbles of life and be expressed.

In moments of inspiration, poems have begun to arrive once more (a relief) and find their nearly formed selves pouring from the pen in the ten minutes of reading time in class, or as I chop the vegetables for soup. There are plenty of bits of paper from the Louise Hay Calendar to scribble on (title - I Can Do It!), plenty of ink in the new pens Morton bought me for Christmas, (vibrant colours, just what I like) and so many ideas going around that my brain cells are in danger of bursting or seriously annoying perfectly happy and sane people around me.

Yes, I crave the excitement of the page, the freedom and wonder of what arrives freely when it's allowed to. All I have to do is begin and let these fingers win their battle with a mind who demands I really ought to be doing something else. I'll report back later with a word count, I will, I will!
Have fun with whatever creativity comes your way today,
Love Ellie xx