tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85840203360523841532024-03-08T07:47:40.881-08:00Ellie's Words....Tales from the Upturned Watering Can
The life of a fair-weather gardener and her wormsEllie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-86196712540719615782011-09-30T00:20:00.000-07:002011-09-30T00:31:21.079-07:00A Visitor...<span style="color:#333333;">I arrive back at the house to find we have a visitor. He's taken up residence in my bathroom. His name is Berty and he's already got a significant Facebook presence. My lovely son checks that I have closed the door at night to keep him safe. That's my son - not Berty! Because Berty is a spider. Of tarantula-like proportions. He's had his photograph taken next to a pen to demonstrate the incredible length of his legs (thank goodness the bath is clean!). He elicits screams from the girls on Facebook that you can probably hear from where you are. I lost him for a while yesterday. On closer inspection, he was resting inside the plughole with just his legs poking out.</span><br /><span style="color:#333333;"></span><br /><span style="color:#333333;">I chuckle because I don't have the heart to turf him out (yet). He continues to construct fluffy balls of web and wander up and down the plughole at will. As long as he's happy and stays where I can see him, then we stay fascinated by this arachnid wonder of nature. I do have one burning question though, what happens when I want a bath??</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-51812416692552761742011-09-27T10:22:00.000-07:002011-09-27T10:28:05.585-07:00Holiday Averages...<span style="color:#000099;">Books read - 1</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Stories written - 1</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Beach visits - 3 a day</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Blog posts - 4 (I think!)</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Friendships made and cemented - 3</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Insects rescued - 3</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Sunshine hours - plenty</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Games of Rummikub won - 6</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Swims in sea - 1 (plus paddle!)</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Laughter shared - tons!</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Housework performed - minimal</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Overnight storms - 1</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Prince William sightings - 1 (possible...)</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Who says caravanning is boring??!</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-12521287975131251192011-09-27T03:39:00.000-07:002011-09-27T03:52:26.822-07:00Beach Blessings<span style="color:#990000;">This morning's beach walk revealed more riches in the best sense of the word. I met old friends as I wandered down the road, encountering a man who wanted to bottle my smile and a fellow-caravanner with her little dog who shared a lot of local information. That's the beauty of a small place. We all become quickly connected and useful to each other. Even when you have a holiday home, you become a part of the community. Taking part in local events has always been important to me and when you dig a little deeper there's always something exciting going on, whether it's the history society talk or a walk along the new bypass before the traffic is allowed to rush along it! </span><br /><span style="color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">At the end of the beach is a long sea defence wall. Sitting on there with my feet dangling high above the high tide felt like sitting at the end of the earth. There were ringed plovers and oystercatchers for company. Swirling in flight and darting in amongst the rocks for food. The sunshine disappeared as cloud swept in. The sea changed from choppy blue to steely grey and the wind scooted across the full lagoon. I felt moved to tears by the majesty of it all.</span><br /><span style="color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">On the way back I sat down for a chat with a man and his dog, who share my very same love of this special place. He said the landscape is like a magnet for him. As it is for me. A very powerful magnet that pulls me back time after time to explore the treasure and challenges it brings. I walked back up the hill refreshed in every way, to my Mum with rollers in her hair (very elegantly covered in a scarf!) and lots of stories to share. Is there a special place that keeps pulling you back to it??</span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-7412409340463834982011-09-25T02:26:00.000-07:002011-09-25T02:43:44.238-07:00Treasure old and new<span style="color:#330099;">A walk on the beach this mellow September Sunday morning has led me on a treasure quest. Searching for materials to create a sculpture at the front of the caravan, reveals several sections of orange netting washed up on the vigorous tide and a large brick-coloured stone to anchor it with. A small piece of driftwood adds to the collection, though I wish I was able to carry the much larger pieces that have been stranded following the tail end of Hurricane Katrina.</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">These tree trunks and logs have been utilised as seats, camp fire surrounds and one has been turned into a totem pole. Another wonderful find is a sand spiral, made amongst the rougher sand at the far end of the beach and the spiral is in a finer, lighter coloured sand. This leads me to believe that we still revere our wonderful planet when we can. Coming to the beach and letting go of the fast pace of modern life, gives us the opportunity to celebrate the natural elements we find at our feet. We sculpt the sand into castles, moats and spirals. We build hearts out of stones and turn wood into totem poles. There is an innate need to create, blend and be at one with the natural environment.</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">I love coming across these beautiful momentoes of someone's time spent on the beach. I photograph them, share them with friends and tuck away the memories for life's stormier days.</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">Enjoy treasure today wherever you find it,</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-61258581626083359492011-09-24T05:06:00.000-07:002011-09-24T05:23:57.428-07:00Coffee, castles and coastline...<span style="color:#ff6600;">Soft, salty rain lashes slate roofs. As most of the country basks in sunshine, the Welsh coast is a little damp. I care not one jot. Sitting in a cafe with a frothy coffee, overlooking the castle with a backdrop of pounding surf and cloud-shrouded mountains, is the best place to be. We've just explored the charity shop and found bright material for quilting and a fuschia pink jacket to light up Mum's face. Then she sits in the car as I run up and down the beach, chased by the waves and watching a heron fish in unique pool-to-pool style. Upturned jellyfish are everywhere, some with turquoise coloured innards. Turn up your collars and join me on the sand, arms outstretched like an eager seagull and laughing with the wind through bedraggled hair. There is so much natural happiness there. It's tempting to stay all day, but the beer festival beckons. I've already told Mum she's driving home, even though she's never turned the wheel in her life. Ah, shandy it is then.</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;">Enjoy your weekend wanderings,</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;">Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-20506816537703243892011-09-20T14:27:00.000-07:002011-09-20T14:43:59.815-07:00Getting it all into perspective...<span style="color:#009900;">It's been a funny old day. The first serious rain in a long time is still falling with gentle and very welcome splashes onto the conservatory roof, though the colour of the sky may lead to an autumn patch of gloom and the possibility of too much television! </span><br /><span style="color:#009900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">The three b's strike today. Burns, boredom and bigness. If there is such a word- then I apply it to the newly extended popular supermarket in our town. It's way TOO BIG. At least it is for my little legs and a lot of other people's I would suspect. It's not set up for an easy or convenient dash round anymore. We are talking hyper-market (remember those??) scale assault where you need a route map, a flask of something hot and some Kendal mintcake to survive the expedition. I made a comment on Facebook which has certainly struck a chord locally. So are we going to start shopping differently? The wheel coming full circle to the enjoyable and specialised shopping of my childhood? The big question here is , do any of us have the time for more individual food shopping or is it a question of organisation?</span><br /><span style="color:#009900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Back to the other two b's. I'll tackle the burns. Fingers are in recovery after an attack by boiling bean water on unprotected skin. Lesson learned. Use the oven gloves. And finally it is boredom - (I know, I don't have any excuses for this one with so many exciting projects on the go) but sometimes I am over-familiar with this b word and hence a late evening blog to rescue the brain cells from getting up to any more mischief!</span><br /><span style="color:#009900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Calm down. The soothing rain still falls. I'm reading The Shack by WM Paul Young and that brings it's own questions and challenges. I realise the day is never wasted even if it doesn't quite turn out the way you want it to. Goodnight from a lucky one - tucked up warm in that other lovely b-word where the company of books and blankets soothes all bad feelings away.</span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Night night from Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-33704142785371715042011-06-07T13:01:00.000-07:002011-06-07T13:26:19.198-07:00Treasured MemoriesI have just completed my first commission to write a poem for a funeral. It was a privilege to be asked and I was conscious of finding the right tone for the occasion that conveys a personal touch with humour and affection.<br /><br />I asked lots of questions before writing a word and the memories shared helped me form a connection with the family member - a sort of tapestry appeared in my mind so that I could follow the colours and threads of a precious life.<br /><br />The first draft was long and too wordy, the second came closer and by the third was flowing easily and required just a rearrangement of the verses. Reading it over the phone was like a meditation for both of us, where we were transported for a few moments into a peaceful space.<br />I'm grateful for the beauty of the experience.Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-12569194654533078802011-05-31T01:39:00.000-07:002011-05-31T02:08:19.149-07:00From a caravan on the coast<span style="color:#000099;">Setting up a caravan with Mum and a loopy Labrador has been great fun. We've forgotten lots of things, especially the warm layers of clothing required for chilly mornings! My excuse is lack of space in the car and over-stretched brain cells. We are lucky to have central heating and we soon get warm. Has no-one invented a solar panel for caravans yet??</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">We lost the chocolate dog for a while yesterday morning. Picture me running around the grass in pyjamas looking for the missing hound. She was found a few rows back, looking bewildered by the sameness of all the green holiday homes. Relief all round.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">The people are so lovely here. A friend popped in with a caravan-warming present (a freshly painted watercolour) and as Mum and I sat outside in the sun sharing one chair between two, the site manager drove up in a truck and unloaded a beautiful padded sun lounger for our use until we get some of our own! </span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">We are making the most of our last day. My early morning walk on the beach was filled with ringed plovers scuttling in the edge of the high tide, a chatty young fisherman casting for sea bass and the knowledge I can visit anytime I want to enjoy this magical place.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Wishing you sunshine and sea breezes,</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-47396349473785131562011-04-24T00:38:00.000-07:002011-04-24T00:55:25.485-07:00Garden of my mind<span style="color:#ff6600;">The garden of my mind is a rich, fertile place, reaching out far beyond me and touching places I can only begin to imagine. Right now it requires sustenance, food of a physical and not just a creative kind. I find myself woken up at 6am by the characters in my new story shouting for attention. Like the persistant ringing of an alarm bell, they wish to speak. Their words and wishes take precedence and scenes form and fade, tumbling one over the other.</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;">Eventually they calm down and let me have a cup of tea. I wander in the garden, cool and cloudy now, admiring the pots and trembling violas. I notice a snail has already nibbled the brand new alstromeria, leaving a silvery trail on the leaves - make a mental note to put gravel on top of the compost (I knew I ought to do it yesterday and was distracted!). </span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;">Last night's barbecue lies cold and blackened. Memories of the Easter Egg hunt my lovely son organised. We were frantic, racing across the gravel in search of sweet chocolate surprises. He's carrying on a tradition lasting years. I always organised an egg hunt for family and friends. Now he's taken on the mantle and I'm moved by the fun and dedication he shows. Photographs are posted on Facebook. We are tagged and people smile at our antics.</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;">It's good for the garden to be a happy place. I take so much pleasure in it, becoming an accidental gravel gardener - such a surprising medium for plants to seed themselves down in. The tomatoes are sprouting at last and my addiction for filling every pot in sight with flowers or food is fully indulged.</span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff6600;">Getting back to watering the words of a new story and watching it grow now. Even the weeds are allowed to seed themselves in case they reveal a new nugget or direction. All creative worms are welcome here.</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-86393763944535122252011-04-17T05:54:00.000-07:002011-04-17T06:16:10.225-07:00Gardening by the light of the moon...<span style="color:#009900;">I find myself gardening enthusiastically hoeing, mulching sewing seeds. The weather is perfect for this activity, although the ground is very dry and I find myself wishing for rain overnight to save me (and the water meter) having to do it and for the farmers who must be complaining by now.</span> <span style="color:#009900;"></span><span style="color:#009900;">Rain tonight would mean obscuring the moon, which is full at 03.44 on Monday morning. I'm not very good at planting seeds by the moon cycle, they're probably a bit late going in and will need all the magic of those silver rays to get them started (plus the aforementioned water!). Gardening is more by luck than good judgement in these parts with seedlings and plants often left to fend for themselves for long, dry periods before I make a mad dash out there to save a wilting specimen.</span> <span style="color:#009900;"></span><span style="color:#009900;">I'm in training to walk around the garden at least twice a day, noticing the plight of any brown and curling leaves in needs of attention, plus showing kindness to sundry wildlife that chooses to fly into the conservatory and become trapped behind the double glazing. A well-used bug jar and a postcard of Barmouth comes in very handy at these times.</span> <span style="color:#009900;"></span><span style="color:#009900;">I never thought I had so much to say about gardening! It's blissful to look out over the cherry blossom and early clematis and think that no matter how neglectful I appear to be, it all keeps coming back for more. The scent of laurel flowers - so potent this year - is overpowering and an orange-tip butterfly dances over the border in need of a coat of mulch and water. I return to the seeds of new life, in the hope of eating freshly picked salad leaves very soon and sharing the fat worm I found at the bottom of a pot with the very friendly robin.</span> <span style="color:#009900;">Happy Full Moon Gardening!</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-61024436261734032702011-02-03T23:25:00.000-08:002011-02-03T23:45:01.497-08:00A Large Field to Wander In<span style="color:#6600cc;">I have borrowed the title of one of Natalie Goldberg's chapters from her book Writing Down the Bones, on this windy Friday morning in February. She encapsulates the need to go to the edge, from a writer's point of view, to have the courage to open ourselves up to writing with passion, depth, in our bravest voice.</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">I realise, as I have lived on this planet for fifty years, that this is where I find myself on many levels. Not wanting the safe, comfortable, tidy route I did my best to follow for so many years. There was always a part of me ready to break out, to explode across the page of life with noise, colour and exuberance! For the rest of my days, I want to not only smell the roses, but to lie down with them, touch them, taste them and know their inner workings.</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">I choose not the path of most comfort (though there are days when I crave it and hide wrapped up in the duvet) but of adventure, challenging myself to grow and go deeper through relationships and experiences.</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">I could take the view that the second chapter is about to begin, the one where most people contemplate a comfortable retirement and an easier way of life. There's nothing wrong with wishing for that. My wishes for the next fifty years reach out like a baby's arms, with a mixture of curiosity, zest and fearlessness, in some kind of upside-down reality kind of path, presenting itself to me through everyday experiences and extraordinary ones that come begging, every now and then, to be followed and allowed space and time for exploration, plus the courage to express all that I discover.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">It is with a brave heart I accept and invite increasing amounts of joy, love and connection in and the real hope these transfer to my writing and working life. Watch out for Ellie as she spreads her wings wider!</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">Wishing you an adventurous Friday, </span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">with love, Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-55968988756040717782011-01-28T01:19:00.000-08:002011-01-28T01:46:17.469-08:00It's all about vibration...<span style="color:#cc0000;">Wouldn't it be good to know what we're attracting into our lives before it actually arrives? The gift of recognising what we're asking for can be both a blessing and a bit of a burden sometimes. I'm sitting here snuggled up in bed, wondering if a chill or the beginning of flu has taken hold (totally my own fault for not dressing properly when out and about yesterday) and also feeling the weight of worry about something that is definitely not mine. Is that a woman thing to do? Trying to take on the problems of family members/friends/the economy/the world without need or invitation to do so? </span><br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">My wish now is always to maintain the happiness, health and sanity of my particular bit of life, on the basis that it's more helpful to be spreading out the normal vivacity and joy I feel than to try and tackle anything not created by or benefiting from my sticking my oar in where it's not wanted. It's hard to explain and may sound like I'm absolving myself from any responsbility for the inner workings of this great world of ours. That's not true. My beliefs have changed so much. I used to think that all the larger organisations were responsible for the general health and happiness of us all (the government, schools, councils etc.) but through the last few years have come to believe that personal responsibility is the real point of power, both for ourselves and the wider world. It's a subject I could probably talk about all day, debate with you long and hard and you'd probably disagree with lots I had to say. (Now scoop out that negative thought Ellie, and flick it right away!) </span><br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">The truth is I take full responsibility for what I'm thinking, feeling and doing about it. This way I get to offer my best, both in the world of my home and relationships and to the joining in of the greater good. As the ripples of loving and positive beliefs spread outwards, they then attract more of the same and the creative forces join together in a dance of progress leading to more connections between us and wonderful events happening. A simple cup of coffee with a friend can lead to ideas and help flowing, as was demonstrated to me so clearly in a cafe in Worcester yesterday.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">The clues are all there for us, spread out like a carpet of leaves, each offering a deepening of experience and the resulting satisfaction when we're brave enough to find out what's waiting beneath each one. So go on, take courage today, turn over one of those leaves, see what you find and attract a new, exciting thread into your life, let it hum with anticipation, expectancy, willingness and follow the warm feeling of the journey it takes you on.</span><br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">From the quiet of a warm room looking out into the crispness of Friday morning,</span><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">Love Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-56231274171820103322011-01-23T23:25:00.000-08:002011-01-23T23:39:28.936-08:00A Life of Love....<span style="color:#333333;">I love to write in silver and add a touch of glitter to give life a sparkle when at all possible. I like to do this in every setting, whever I find myself, it's good to exude the aura of sparkliness. This</span><span style="color:#333333;"> always brings love into the mix. Watch the beginning of the film Love Actually, and you will hear the words love is everywhere. In my observation this is so true and the more we focus upon it, the more love comes into our lives. It's a magnet of the most wonderful force, turning the apparently mundane into a series of special moments as we notice the nuances of love.</span><br /><span style="color:#333333;"></span><br /><span style="color:#333333;">It may take a little practise. The obvious loving acts are easier to spot. What of the more subtle moments? The simple touch of a hand on a back that may go unnoticed, but says 'I support you'. The twinkle in an eye that says 'you look good today'. The quiet acceptance of a mood that won't quite go away, a cup of tea appearing without asking and the gentle bending of a tree to say we are connected.</span><br /><span style="color:#333333;"></span><br /><span style="color:#333333;">As I step outside my door today, with a list of life's more practical necessities to achieve, I look, I touch, taste and hear all the love filling every second of the day. Because everything created and being brought into the range of our attention, had a caring thought behind it, an idea to make our lives easier or more fulfilled.</span><br /><span style="color:#333333;"></span><br /><span style="color:#333333;">Embrace everyone and everything you come across today and I will open my heart more into the possibility of knowing more and living more from love.</span><br /><span style="color:#333333;"></span><br /><span style="color:#333333;">With loving waves coming your way today,</span><br /><span style="color:#333333;">Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-72933698516661569452011-01-10T01:03:00.000-08:002011-01-10T01:19:23.163-08:00The ups and downs of Monday morning...<span style="color:#000099;">I really wasn't sure what was going on this morning, there had been the scent of disappointment in the air last night, when a friend who promised to call, somehow couldn't do it, though I do understand, I've been in that space myself. The ups and downs of a dating life, a creative life and all the other threads I do my best to balance and lovingly stay aware of every day.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Sometimes I get it right and sometimes spectacularly wrong. It is easier to get things wrong these days, the beating up doesn't last for very long and I find myself acknowledging the lesson and laughing about the event rather than crying or hiding! Being ourselves is vital and it appears to be part of a woman's role to keep a weather eye out all around her for the needs and nuances of others as we juggle all that is asked of us every day.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">The housework becomes a metaphor for the larger expectations of family life, yes, everyone else is all right as long as you are doing what is expected, the washing,the ironing, the cooking, the dusting, but they find it challenging when you step outside this role and explore a part of you that has been waiting for a long time to be expressed.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">I juggle with this every day, as do millions of wonderful women (keeping this country and their menfolk going!) and confess to giving in to the creative, growing opportunities that wait outside the door or in a different place inside, crying out for attention. Step forward the poet, the song writer, the business woman, the philosopher and all the hidden threads of me longing for expression from behind the ironing board and duster.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Don't give up, today could be the day when we shine a wonderful beam of light into the deepest recesses of our creative souls.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">May everything you do today go one step further than you thought possible,</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">With love,</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-13312489724994877872011-01-06T01:15:00.000-08:002011-01-06T01:25:41.108-08:00Time to get moving.....I think<span style="color:#6600cc;">I'm not moving a muscle until there are some words covering this pretty white page. It's time to move the fingers (very nicely painted ones, leftover from New Year's Eve) and let rip. There's so much inside to talk about, a vast world of unplumbed depths longing to rise up through the bubbles of life and be expressed.</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">In moments of inspiration, poems have begun to arrive once more (a relief) and find their nearly formed selves pouring from the pen in the ten minutes of reading time in class, or as I chop the vegetables for soup. There are plenty of bits of paper from the Louise Hay Calendar to scribble on (title - I Can Do It!), plenty of ink in the new pens Morton bought me for Christmas, (vibrant colours, just what I like) and so many ideas going around that my brain cells are in danger of bursting or seriously annoying perfectly happy and sane people around me.</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">Yes, I crave the excitement of the page, the freedom and wonder of what arrives freely when it's allowed to. All I have to do is begin and let these fingers win their battle with a mind who demands I really ought to be doing something else. I'll report back later with a word count, I will, I will!</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">Have fun with whatever creativity comes your way today, </span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">Love Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-15275661482947799662010-11-17T23:44:00.000-08:002010-11-17T23:54:15.598-08:00Nano easy, housework not........<span style="color:#009900;">Good Morning to all in Nanoland and beyond. Thanks to all the encouragement and tips, I'm now finding it fairly easy and very enjoyable to explore Nanowrimo. The best time for me to write is right now, early in the morning and it's a cathartic experience seeing how my character's deal with their emotions and desires in life. I never knew all that slightly darker, edgier side could be so much fun! And there's the softer side too.</span><br /><span style="color:#009900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Life is definitely changing again, whether it's the Nano month or simply time to move on, I'm getting more involved in certain aspects of life and letting others go. Like other writers, housework is becoming less and less interesting, though my house and other animals desire attention, I'd rather be doing the writing and assignments and other activities.</span><br /><span style="color:#009900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Certain of my wonderful girly friends also think it's time I started dating again, so dipping my toe bravely in the water and seeing where it goes. It gives up plenty of ideas to add into the writing mix, and I now have lovely Doctor Mike thinking it's time he found himself a lady to have some fun with! Bless him, I like Mike best of all the characters, he's funny and sweet. </span><br /><span style="color:#009900;"></span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">So lots more exploring going on in Ellie's household. Time to move the bones and get dressed, as college calls this morning. The rain patters on the conservatory roof and life opens up a whole new range of interesting prospects for my day and the journey of the characters.</span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Happy writing,</span><br /><span style="color:#009900;">Love Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-30070077999457642602010-11-14T23:15:00.000-08:002010-11-14T23:32:07.743-08:00<span style="color:#ff0000;">Writing whatever the mood........</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">An interesting moment dawned on me yesterday. a Sunday that felt a bit of a struggle with interuptions and going with other people's wishes and desires. The writing was in tune with the mood, unsure of direction and lacking in any energy. Avoidance became the easiest way - what is it about resistance that convinces us it holds sway? ( I feel it now tugging at me, censor yourself, rather than open up and write what's really here).</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">I joined a friend and her family for tea and after the delicious meal and laughter over the spaghetti, we stood either side of the kitchen counter and unravelled our Nanowrimo efforts. It was a brilliant moment of clarity when she said to me "Write about what you are feeling right now. Give it to one of your characters and incorporate it into the story." Genius! I suddenly felt the freedom in that. When I arrived home, a new character duly appeared in the guise of the prevailing emotion and began to share her part in the story, giving clues and openings to one of the main characters traits and behaviour. There are now several pieces of paper beside me on the bed with ideas, clues, reasons stories might be rejected and conversations needed between characters. (Dialogue is not my strongest point, though you might not believe it from the way I can natter!)</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">The nugget here is the permission. Permission to write from whatever we're feeling. From anger. From frustration. From the utter despair of having to clean up after an elderly pet for the second or third time that week. From the blockage or resistance. Because by giving our characters a dose of these very real feelings, they become whole and human too. They each hold parts of the jigsaw yet to be revealed to the story and to the reader. Isn't that a great gift of life? We all hold bits of the jigsaw and when we share these with each other, we help to spark a new way of thinking and being that adds colour and interest and helps to work out the challenges that go on around us. A gift for us and for our characters as they develop and share their lives.</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">As the frost paints the rooftops and the mist descends on this November morning, wishing you an inspiring and warm start to the week.</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">Much love, Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-62282940831666784712010-11-14T01:07:00.000-08:002010-11-14T01:20:38.449-08:00<span style="font-family:georgia;color:#330099;">I'm having a few tears this morning listening to Abide With Me on Good Morning Sunday. It's Rememberance Sunday, and a good day to give gratitude for so many things. I ring my lovely Mum to see how she is (she's not been at all well this week) and she is doing so well and we share her friend's brilliant idea of making Christmas easier for her. </span><br /><span style="color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">I'm nearly in the middle of Nanowrimo, the National Novel Writing Month that has so many of us writing like crazy to achieve the goal of 50,000 words. I'm really pleased with getting so far and though words are lagging a little, it's so worthwhile keeping going to learn so much. It's keeping me on track with other tasks in life (college asisgnments, Christmas and cooking to name but a few). I've discovered my best times for writing are very first and very last thing. There is flexibility in the order of writing, whatever pops in to be attended to are the words that flow, whether they come in the middle or at the end.</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">Today the characters tell me they're not speaking nearly enough with each other, so it will be very interesting to see what else they share. This process is an unravelling, expansive world all of it's own, that comes through the hands, but is not of me somehow. After going to a mind mapping workshop this week, is it the great sub-conscious speaking? And just how much of that do we share with others?</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">Going now to catch up on those 600 words owed from yesterday, to look after the lovely chocolate labrador who is not well either and to give thanks for so much richness in every area of my life and remembering those who have given so much to care for us all.</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">Happy, gratitutde filled Sunday,</span><br /><span style="color:#330099;">Love Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-52706096395036424682010-09-16T00:17:00.000-07:002010-09-16T00:28:11.345-07:00Everyone's making meatballs....<span style="color:#000099;">It's a fact, I'm surrounded by meatball lovers. The kids came in from work yesterday, discovered there was fish for tea (yuck) and promptly went out to buy the ingredients to cook meatballs. I was treated to a dish as I was watching The Great British Bakeoff (what it is about a tough-talking silver fox that I find so attractive??) and the cat finished the rest (of the meatballs, not the silver fox).</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">A little earlier, the doorbell went and I recognised my lovely neighbour on the other side of the glass. In she came asking for an onion.........you've guessed it, to cook meatballs. We laughed, chatted and she went away with onions, apples and a promise of coffee to catch up on all our creative projects.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Yesterday was official *first day at work in a very long time* too. When I say work, I mean out there in a more conventional place than I'm used to. It was like going home, just with extra scary technology! The brain will soon catch up and everyone was lovely, especially the young people, who are sweet, funny and accepting. I learned such a lot and realise I have many more skills and understanding to offer now. Discovered another course I'd like to do. The abundant Universe is being very generous indeed in that department. Within a year, I will be a rag-rugging-cupcake-baking-singer-songwriting-nature-loving-meridian-tapping-poetry-writing-teaching assistant. Phew! What an interesting life.</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Have a fascinating day on planet earth,</span><br /><span style="color:#000099;">Love Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-68782933583272708032010-09-14T00:37:00.000-07:002010-09-14T01:03:10.520-07:00Tucked up in bed with the laptop<span style="color:#6600cc;">I'm taking it a little easy this morning - my body grumbles with a bit of a cold and Chris Evans chunters quietly in the background, he is informative and funny most of the time. The dampness outside the window says stay put a little longer, enjoy the time to write and explore.</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">I dreamt of my ex last night, so clearly. He was with me, in the best way possible, holding me and saying all the things I've longed for over the last twenty one months. The beauty of it happening this way, is that I don't actually have to go back there and attempt the untangling I tried to achieve for so long, it's a natural part of the ending and I accept it as such. I wonder what the rules of contact are after the divorce becomes final, and realise I'm free to make my own decisions. There are no rules, only the ones that feel right for me. If I wish to send an occasional email to say Hi, how are you? it's ok. Whether he replies or not is up to him. I'm free to express myself, free to fly, free to be me.</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">Inside I buzz with excitement at all the possibilities of the new life I'm exploring. The writing, singing, work, college, social life, the list grows and goes on and on.... Time now to do a little work, in the comfort of my snuggly white quilt, low-flying pigeons scooting outside the window and the leaves turning slowly gold for autumn. I listen to soulful lyrics on the radio and think I've moved on quite a lot - the singer says he's chasing rainbows all the time, but aren't we all? It's an essential part of being human. </span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">May all your rainbows be golden today,</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">With love, Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-2208638678520834432010-09-11T00:10:00.000-07:002010-09-11T00:29:43.206-07:00Stats and Vows<span style="color:#33cc00;">Aren't brains wonderful things?? Complex computers with multi-tasking capabilities. I'm watching bits of mine as it jumps from one thread to another - the bags under my eye, where the strange ice-cream-van alarm sounding at 8am came from, really ought to get up and move about, wanting to talk to a friend, going for a walk this morning, must ring mum, time for breakfast *gurgles* and the biggest vow I'm breaking (though not really). And all that in the same few seconds! No wonder you're a crazy mixed up kid *laughing*.</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">It was so good to be back at writing class yesterday. Warm, lovely people, Jayne's excitement, listening, sharing, inspiring. I was tired when I got back and after a rest, collected and delivered books to a very busy cafe. It was then the vow breaking bit hit me. It was huge and all-encompassing, though not of me, if that makes any sense, I could feel it's vastness around me. There's work to be done here, I'm not breaking my vow, in the sense that love continues, certain and unseparated. The best way to describe it right now is that those eight or so skittles out of ten that are standing tall again, about three of them have wobbled and lie in a heap on top of one another. The button has been pushed to ask them to stand tall again, and they struggle and ease themselves back into alignment. It still takes my breath away, the power of the feeling. Healing takes time and courage.</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">Courage this morning not to duck back under the duvet (I do have a pile of very good books :-) but rather to stretch, sing and dance as breakfast arrives in the bowl by the magic of Oatibix, nuts, seeds, fruit and probiotic yoghurt. (healthy after eating egg and chips last night!) and thinking of all the lovely supportive, clever, vibrant people around me who are part of my world.</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">My wishes for the weekend are to get online and do the exercises there that help, for Lewis or Jensen to win the Grand Prix, for my lovely family to keep on being happy and creative, to walk with friends through the trees and to find peace with the threads of an unbroken vow.</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;"></span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">The stats say that people in Alaska and the USA have looked at my blog. Incredible! I'd love to cruise up to Alaska, watching the water for whales and ice.</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">Enjoy the weekend,</span><br /><span style="color:#33cc00;">Ellie xx</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-75847222001442482622010-09-09T22:19:00.000-07:002010-09-09T22:36:55.341-07:00An end or a new beginning?<span style="color:#330033;">6.30am on Friday morning. Writing is such a useful tool for the overactive imagination. After seeing my ex yesterday, sleep has been somewhat elusive. I send him an email out into the ether. I saw all the emotion he kept inside and that is so hard, because I wanted it to come out in front of me. I had bought the bread, the sliced chicken and fresh milk for his coffee. I wanted to ask him in for lunch. I saw that he couldn't do it and understood. I can't go into Dorwyn right now, it would crack me wide open. Do we both perceive we have the life the other wanted? I'm aware one of my patterns is to think there's a better life, over there somewhere and I'm learning to value and be content with the one I have.</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">Rooting myself here and spending precious time with my son and my Mum is important right now. One will leave home soon and the other.......I have no idea of the time we have left to enjoy and we have had so many special times this year. She is still learning and growing and gives me so much support and unconditional love. Let's face it, she couldn't have a much more unconventional daughter at times!</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">Yes, I'm learning to love all those bits of me too. I accept the drama part of me and moderate her more when necessary. I accept I feel very deeply. I accept I need to creatively express myself. I embrace all the opportunities opening up to learn to put these facets to the best use possible. I'm becoming the student I always wanted to be. The degree is a lifelong learning one and I follow it's flow with fascination. And gratitude. I have so much and appreciate love is expressed in many ways, not just by being in a relationship with a man. In fact, that is restricting in some ways for me right now, because let's be honest, their needs often are acknowledged first in any relationship, that's the way it is. Their work, their hobbies, they will go and do anyway, leaving us to support them and tidy up after them. That's non-judgemental, just honest.</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">I'm learning to look after me. It's valuable work. I'm thankful to have wonderful grounded friends who are more practical than I am about certain matters. I explore by talking, thinking and taking action, I'm taking more time between some of these events. Diving off at tangents is not always productive, however tantalising they may seem, because I often have to find my way back across the rocky path to the centre. The evening out of those jagged behaviours leads to a more peaceful life for me and those around me.</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">I have so much gratitude to my marriage. This has been expressed. I will stay here and grow until I feel ready to venture over to Wales again and paddle my feet in the water on that very special beach. The one that embraces me, challenges me, where the winds sweeps away the debris to the very heart of my connection to the raw life force in all it's elemental glory. It's there waiting...........always.</span><br /><span style="color:#330033;">Love Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-28744110613528754952010-07-05T06:21:00.000-07:002010-07-05T06:27:21.889-07:00Quiet times.......<span style="color:#3333ff;">Ellie is a bit quiet at present. She has much on her mind, her plate and her heart is a little shaky. She's in need of the tenderest loving care possible and the courage to nurture herself there. She's come a long, long way and sadly her writing days are shorter than she planned. But hey, wait a moment, she is still here and writing, right now! Something good must be going on.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">She's recovering well. Her body is slowly responding. She took a short drive, a short walk and some serious tree-hugging activities went on in the park this morning. It even helps to talk about herself in the third person. Maybe a trick to writing more often! We will observe, quietly as time goes by and how she fluffs herself back up again and takes her place in the hurly-burly, exciting, creative writing world. It all takes a little more time than she planned, but what is time anyway? A question for another day I think, after Ellie takes a snooze and restores order to her family and other animals............</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">With love and appreciation, Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8584020336052384153.post-3374898960347356042010-06-16T01:43:00.000-07:002010-06-16T01:55:59.288-07:00The waiting words.......<span style="font-family:courier new;color:#990000;">The adventure continues, life flowing and the opening and learning that comes with it. I think my brain has been so tired and so tied up that as it gently comes to life once more, the words begin to take shape and express themselves freely. A workshop on Sunday with India Grey, the Mills and Boon author, so full of positivity and delight with her writing life, has me thinking romantic thoughts (I think them most of the time to be honest, so why not write about them?) I am doing the exercises and it's surprising what emerges, two characters arriving on the page, though I confess I'm afraid to continue today. The sun is shining, I was due to work in the forest, but find myself in need of the quiet space home provides to do some physical clearing up and then some writing before meeting a fellow-writer for lunch.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Courier New;color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Courier New;color:#990000;">Or do I have this the wrong way around? To go and sit down and continue writing, then take a break would probably have me feeling better. I can write a love scene from my frustrated space and wouldn't it be more interesting and have more edge because I feel this way?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Courier New;color:#990000;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Courier New;color:#990000;">How do I begin to write without myself being involved? Or is there always an element of the writer themself present on the page? I will splurge, calm down and ask my characters to talk with me. Open up a real conversation where they tell me their secrets and share what's in their hearts. Then maybe I'll uncover what's in mine.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Courier New;color:#990000;">With love and inspiration, Ellie x</span>Ellie Swoophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258957397794868525noreply@blogger.com0