Saturday, 11 September 2010

Stats and Vows

Aren't brains wonderful things?? Complex computers with multi-tasking capabilities. I'm watching bits of mine as it jumps from one thread to another - the bags under my eye, where the strange ice-cream-van alarm sounding at 8am came from, really ought to get up and move about, wanting to talk to a friend, going for a walk this morning, must ring mum, time for breakfast *gurgles* and the biggest vow I'm breaking (though not really). And all that in the same few seconds! No wonder you're a crazy mixed up kid *laughing*.

It was so good to be back at writing class yesterday. Warm, lovely people, Jayne's excitement, listening, sharing, inspiring. I was tired when I got back and after a rest, collected and delivered books to a very busy cafe. It was then the vow breaking bit hit me. It was huge and all-encompassing, though not of me, if that makes any sense, I could feel it's vastness around me. There's work to be done here, I'm not breaking my vow, in the sense that love continues, certain and unseparated. The best way to describe it right now is that those eight or so skittles out of ten that are standing tall again, about three of them have wobbled and lie in a heap on top of one another. The button has been pushed to ask them to stand tall again, and they struggle and ease themselves back into alignment. It still takes my breath away, the power of the feeling. Healing takes time and courage.

Courage this morning not to duck back under the duvet (I do have a pile of very good books :-) but rather to stretch, sing and dance as breakfast arrives in the bowl by the magic of Oatibix, nuts, seeds, fruit and probiotic yoghurt. (healthy after eating egg and chips last night!) and thinking of all the lovely supportive, clever, vibrant people around me who are part of my world.

My wishes for the weekend are to get online and do the exercises there that help, for Lewis or Jensen to win the Grand Prix, for my lovely family to keep on being happy and creative, to walk with friends through the trees and to find peace with the threads of an unbroken vow.

The stats say that people in Alaska and the USA have looked at my blog. Incredible! I'd love to cruise up to Alaska, watching the water for whales and ice.
Enjoy the weekend,
Ellie xx

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